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You Think You Know a Gloom Chapter 17

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“You have some real nerve coming showing your face around here, Penny,” Chaney hissed.

Penny brushed the specks of fire out of her face as it were nothing. She then grabbed Chaney by beard and pulled him close, the onlookers gasping in fear. Skull Boy put a hand on Ruby’s shoulder so she wouldn’t hurt herself

“I think you’re the one who’s got nerve Chaney,” Penny said. “A lot of nerve to kidnap your own daughter. How could you possibly think she’d like it here?”

Once Chaney freed his beard from Penny’s grip he let out a fierce roar and the rest of him lit up with fire. He pressed his face so close to his ex’s their eyeballs were practically touching.
“Misto said our princess was being abused by people on the surface. As long as Ruby is my daughter I will never have anyone mistreat her,” Chaney said. “I was hoping that when she became a Spirit of Strife herself she’d come back and obliterate them.”

Iris, Frank and Len all looked at each other while Skull Boy openly voiced his confusion. “Abused? You mean you thought we were hurting Ruby?”

“Maybe not “abuse” necessarily,” Chaney said, “but from what I was told no one was giving my little girl an ounce of respect.”

“Preposterous,” Poe proclaimed. “We could never mistreat anyone, let alone one of our own.”

“Do these kids honestly seem like the type that’d abuse Ruby? They tracked me down just to find out where she was,” Penny said pointing to Ruby’s friends.

“I…didn’t actually have the time to meet any of them,” Chaney admitted.  

“So you didn’t just listen to your daughter? She had to tell you at some point that you Misto, of all people, was lying?”  

Chaney’s ears fell back as he looked at his daughter. Ruby frowned and hid her eyes from him in Doom’s fur. Guilt, even if it’s justified, is an ugly thing to look at. His head spun around and shot a glare at Misto, still tied up at the beginning of the stairway.
Misto spat the notepad out and tried to defend himself. “Uh, don’t take it personally master. A-after all, you weren’t the one that abandoned your daughter with these, er, “seemingly abusive” housemates of hers.”

“Riiiight,” Chaney mused, getting up close and personal in Penny’s face. “Oh so soooo right. I wasn’t the one that abandoned our little Ruby and never even tried to find her again.”
Penny’s eyes became vacant and unfeeling. He used this as an opportunity to trip her with the end of his cloak, almost playfully. As Penny stood back up, cursing about hitting her head on the hard rock floor, Chaney turned his back at her and called to Ruby.

“Ruby, I’m not going to act like what I did to you was right,” he said. “However, I still tried to make you happy. I might not know how to do it, but I did at least try. Your mother here, did she ever try finding that town of yours? Did she ever think of looking for you or your friends once she knew you were safe? Your mother doesn’t care about you Ruby. She’s never cared about anything.”

Ruby bit her lip and backed up into Skull Boy’s arms.

“Don’t you even think of going there you no good son o-” Penny started to roll up her sleeves to she could clock her ex-husband in the back of the head.

Chaney stopped and covering her mouth with just one finger. “Are you telling me that’s not true? You were content with just abandoning your only child in a place you didn’t even live in?”

“I left Ruby in Gloomsville so that she would be safe! No one trusted me there, remember?” Penny stammered swatting Chaney’s hand away. “And besides it’s not like you ever stopped by to give her a hand.”

“Ohohooo,” Chaney laughed in enraged sarcasm, “are you hearing this Ruby because I sure am. Apparently now, only now, your mother wants me around! To think, years ago she told me plain as day to ‘never come around her or her daughter ever again’. It’s not like I ever cared or anything.”

“Don’t throw that can of worms around like you’re the victim here! You’re the reason everyone is afraid of people like Ruby and her friends. You’re the reason everyone is afraid of me. You’ve ruined the life of everyone who stands out in the crowd!”

“You still hold to those stupid conspiracies? I’m pretty sure most towns like Ruby’s have been around for hundreds of years, just as her miss ‘I’m the good parent who listens to their kid. Oh, but no, apparently any and all reason of oppression is my fault. My fault alone. You’re telling me that our perky, bubblegum, lemon-drop daughter is the reason everyone she ever knew couldn’t live among normal people? You are an amateur when it comes to starting drama Penny.”
Chaney stuffed up his nose and threw back his head. “Wouldn’t be the first thing you were an amateur at.”

The Gloom Crew watched the couple erupt into their little domestic quarrel. They scratched their shoulders and coughed awkwardly into their hands. Iris twiddled her hair and Misery commented about how much this reminded her of a distant aunt and uncle of hers. Skull Boy leaned against Ruby’s head and whispered something in her ear.
“I think we should leave. Let them have it out.”  

Almost offended by her friend’s lack of empathy, Ruby let Doom plop to the ground and stormed up to her bickering parents.

“You worthless pile of garbage!”

“You pathetic excuse for a medium!”

“You’re just as stupid as your father!”

“You’re just as ugly as your mother!”

“How dare you say that!”

“You’ll regret saying that to me-”

“Stop it,” Ruby ordered, “you two are acting like children.”
Penny and Chaney looked down and saw Ruby standing between them, her eyes fixed on their faces.  

“Ruby,” Chaney scoffed, offended but not angry by her tone.

“You don’t understand sweetie,” Penny said. “You’re father and I-”

“No, I’m sorry, let me give you a little bit of my point of view first. I am the Princess of Strife. I deserve the right to speak my mind.” Ruby friends were in awe of this newfound attitude. Frank and Len even yelled a quiet “you go girl” from the sidelines.
“Most of my life I’ve never had parents. I had a family, but I didn’t have parents. I know some people who aren’t lucky enough to even have a mom or dad. I can’t stand watching you fight like this! You guys understand that for the longest time, that’s what I remembered about you? Always fighting, always at each other’s throats! Mom’s telling the truth, dad. If you didn’t get away from each other and me I never would been happy!”

The cheering from Ruby’s friends stopped and an aching, breathless silence filled the throne room. Doom tapped on Ruby’s hand with the tip of her tail and shook her head at her. Chaney and Penney wore the exact same expression on their faces: broken.
Their eyes were too dry for tears but to wide to close or shirk off the pain.

Ruby sighed. “I’m sorry. That went to far.”

“No,” Penny half-heartedly said, “I get it, sweetheart.” Chaney didn’t say anything. He just looked away from Penny and Ruby in shame.

“I know it’s not easy,” Ruby said, “but I’ll always be happy if I know you guys are happy.”

“Oh Ruby, you have no idea just where our problems started.”

Doom tapped Ruby again to get her attention. “Yeah Doom? What is it?”
Doom stood on her front legs and waved her tail and back legs in the air. She made a “thinking” expression before her tail formed a light bulb over her head.

“Really? What’s your plan?” Ruby asked.
For a few seconds everyone in the room waited for Ruby and her cat to finish their silent conversation. Then suddenly Ruby let out a happy squee and patted her doom kitty on the head.
“Doom just figured out exactly what you need!”
She turned to her parents and smiled. “You guys need couple’s counseling!”

“Counseling? As in someone telling you what to do?” Chaney asked.

“It’s always about you isn’t it Mr. Spirit of strife?” Penny scoffed. “But seriously Ruby, how is counseling gonna help?”

“Easy! You each get a turn to go over your side of the story, someone sums up what it looks like from the outside, and then you talk to each other,” Ruby said smiling.

“Okay, but, who would counsel us down here?”

“Well there just happens to be a descendant from a long line therapists in this very room.” Ruby stepped back, grabbed Skull Boy by the arm and pulled him along.

Skull Boy was horrified. “What are you doing? I thought we agreed that whole therapist thing was just faze!”

“But you still looked into psychology,” Ruby said, giving him a push. “Just give it a try Skull Boy.”

Skull Boy took a deep breath and approached the angry couple. He took out the fake mustache he always had with him in case of an emergency.
“I’ll need a couch and a swivel chair, please.”

~ ~ ~

“Go on Miss Dreadful,” Skull Boy said as Penny lay down on the big red couch, being fanned by Sloth. Passion and Gluttony made notes of Penny’s story next to Skull Boy in his silver swivel chair.
Penny looked over her shoulder at Chaney glaring impatiently at her and Ruby giving her a helpful “thumbs up”.

“Alright,” Penny said, “well like I told you, I couldn’t go back home to my parents because they disowned me. They didn’t even care about the divorce papers I brought them. ‘Do you know how hard it is to explain to the neighbors that yes, it was our little girl who married an evil spirit? We aren’t even invited to church anymore because of you!’ That’s what they said.  
I didn’t even tell them about Ruby. Pretty much everyone knew anyway. They just told me if I ever came home they’d burn me right then and there.”

The whole room sat quietly listening to Penny’s story, a few of them had tears going down their eyes. Only one person made lots of noise and it was Misto, struggling under Frank and Len’s foot.  

“Quiet,” Iris told him. “Ruby’s mom is trying to talk.”

“You’ll get what’s coming to you, you no good little-”

“Quiet best friend snatcher,” Frank said before clunking Misto on the head.

“Yeah, it’s ‘cause of you that we had to work some lousy office job,” Len said.

Penny finished her story in a low, sorrowful tone. “Eventually I left the public eye completely. No chance of ever going back to the land of the unnatural. No one would tolerate the ex of the Spirit of Strife. I compensated and went everywhere under the sun labeled spooky. New Orleans, Salem, Transylvania, Southern California, you name it! That’s when I took up the medium business. Sometimes I honed in on Ruby with my psychic skills. I’d only ever see her smiling face.
I wanted to be with her but I figured she was much happier without me. Strange thing was I kinda knew we were gonna meet back up someday. See, I started getting more unnaturals coming to my booth asking for help. I told them where to go, Gloomsville of course, and I told them to look out for a girl with ruby red hair and skin as white as death.
That’s all I got.”

Skull Boy took off his reading glasses and tapped them against his chin. “Very interesting. Thank you for sharing Miss Dreadful.” He let Penny stand up and sit on the corner next to Ruby, Wrath and Vanity. “Mr…um…Spirit of Strife, you’re next.”

Ruby held Chaney’s hand for a smiled and smiled reassuringly. He made his way to Skull Boy’s coach and lay down, though his horns kept his head propped up from the floor. “Where do I start?”

“Ugh…at the beginning. Tell us about yourself and how you met Penny. We’ll go on from there.”

“Alright,” Chaney said folding his hands neatly on his lap. “Well, when I met Penny I didn’t know what to think. My mother really wanted me to get married but my father had this weird prejudice about human brides.
‘They won’t bare you any terrible terrors,’ he said. But I ended up hearing the calls of Penny and her friends and the next thing I knew I was summoned to them. I cheated the other kids and took off with my offering. That night I did something my parents told me never to do…I spoke to a human. I actually talked to her.”
He glanced back at Penny and Ruby, the former giving him an inquisitive raised eyebrow.

“What did you two talk about?” Skull Boy asked.

“Penny said she hated society, that’s why she hung out with such shady people in the first place. I never heard anyone who talk like that,” Chaney said. “You see, when Penny and I were Ruby’s age, I didn’t want to be the Spirit of Strife. I hated this place. I was good at causing chaos sure but I wanted to be more than just the flame that set off human conflict for years to come. My mother and father never seemed happy with their job of sitting all day in their domain and pulling the strings of madness in the world.”

“Oh,” breathed Passion, “we are soooo sorry master.”

Chaney didn’t respond to his subject with a fierce glare or anything temperamental. He breathed and continued his story.  “I loved Penny. I knew just by the look in her eyes that she loved me for me and not for the spirit I was…or so I thought. Anyway, we thought up a brilliant plan: we would run away! No domain of darkness, no friends or family to way us down. Just the two of us. We left that night and I never saw my mother or father again.
If Penny and I wanted to stay together, we had to blend in with society. When we were amongst mortals I had to get under people’s skin to blend in. Usually this got some poor sap in trouble, but Penny and I didn’t care. Did we Penny?”

Penny turned away from her ex in shame.

“I took Penny to the place she always wanted go to: Gloomsville. The minute we got there a new Penny suddenly came to be. No more broody, snarky Penny. Only happy Penny. A “let’s buy everything in Gloomsville flea market! It’s our honeymoon after all” Penny. A Penny’s who’s face was happier than either sides of the moon.”

The listeners all giggled and “awed” at the story. Ruby was able to catch her mother chuckle under her breath for a split second.

“Then everything changed. Before you knew it, and before we were ready, Ruby was in the picture.
Neither of us had jobs. No mortal being would hire someone who came back as a different person each day. The unnaturals were a bit more understanding but everyone seemed to turn down my résumé when I went out job searching. That or they gave me the job of schadenfreude service.
Despite all this our Ruby was such a happy baby. She always smiled at us and played with our noses when we held her. She was perfect. Red hair and pure white skin. Some would called our Ruby “too human” or “too creepy”, but they were wrong. She was our Ruby. I vowed to make a perfect life for my little girl. That’s when I met up with one of my dad’s old workers. Turned out that the Domain of Darkness had gone insane since I left. There was no spirit ruling it. I started making different ends meat to help my family. I’d get payment from all sorts of people, be it gold, silver, coinage or souls. For once I felt secure with my destiny. Like I had a happy life and a purpose.
But Penny didn’t like me leaving all the time. I guess when people found out about what I was doing everyone complained to her. Even in the unnatural world people became close-minded of Spirit of Strife business. I started rallying up forces to find common enemies, you see, and what better way to “bring people together” than have them attack something that wasn’t ‘human’ to them. And…well…” Chaney trailed off.
The listeners all leaned their heads in closer to hear if Penny was telling the truth. Chaney tightened his brow and tapped his fingers closely together.

“-and then you caused one of the worst travesties of the unnatural world,” Penny said.

“It wasn’t one of the worst, Penny,” Chaney said. “Mortal people have always burned and chased and chopped things they don’t understand.”

“But what does that make Gloomsville then?” Ruby asked.

“Nothing. Just a town with dead people in it.”

“Were there really, you know, camps for people like us?” Skull Boy asked inquisitively.

“Some people tried holding others hostage. That’s a give in for this kind of thing but no camps, not as far as I can tell and I’m aware of atrocity on earth.
What I created paranoia. Paranoia leads to hate crimes and hate crimes lead to civil wars. A good spirit knows that they’re best work is always the trickle down affect of madness,” Chaney said. Ruby grabbed her mother’s hand and gulped. What a terrible existence.
“Soon after Penny and I started to fight. told me to leave and kept Ruby all to herself. I didn’t object, not if she clearly didn’t consider my efforts to better our lives. I left her to care for Ruby alone if she really felt she was so capable.”

“So you were perfectly fine with leaving us all alone and defenseless?” Penny said. “You no good rotten-”

“Miss Dreadful,” Skull boy said, “we aren’t done.”

“Yes we are! He finished his story.”

“No. There’s one last step that we need to do before we call this meeting a wrap,” Penny nearly stood up to protest but Doom pushed her back down with the tip of her tail. Skull Boy whisked his chair closer to Chaney’s head.
“Mr. Strife, if there was one thing in the whole world, in here up there and in between spaces, that you could tell Penny Dreadful, what would it be?”

Chaney took a long pause. His big eyes became vacant, staring off into space as if someone had gotten under his skin for a change. “I would tell her that…I’m mad at her for hurting me. For not thinking of what I was trying to do.” His eyes became big, sunken and sad. “All I ever wanted to do was make her and Ruby happy. I can’t say I didn’t think about what I was doing, but if I knew doing it would hurt the only family I ever had, of course I wouldn’t have done it. I was kid! At my core all I’m good for is making people hate each other.
I may never know what happiness is but if Penny just has to hear it, that’s no one’s fault but mine.”

There was a soft sniffing from a few of the bystanders, the sins and the Gloom crew. Ruby was among them, crying a few tears as sweet and bitter enough for Misery’s special homemade shampoo. Penny stuttered next to her. Her eyes were wide as always but this time they didn’t look dry at all.

“Good job Mr. Strife,” Skull Boy said. “Miss Penny, if you could say anything to Mr. Strife right now, what would it-”

Penny dashed by Skull Boy and spun him and his chair out of the way. She flung her arms around Chaney’s neck, or at least as much as she could, and kissed him.

“I love you Chaney! That’s all I’ve ever wanted to say. I wish I hadn’t depended so much on you, but I do love you!”

Chaney’s smile quivered before kissing Penny back just as passionately as she did before. “I-I’ve missed you so much my darling. You have no idea.”

“I missed you more Chaney Poo.”

“I missed you more Penny Pie.”

“No, I missed you more my red hot Chaney pepper,” cooed Penny and on and on it went until a very uncomfortable Ruby had to split her parents apart. Again.

“Mom, dad? Are you feeling better?”

“I haven’t felt like this is a long time,” Chaney said, holding Penny’s hand.
Skull Boy stood up when Chaney pulled him aside and patted him on the head. “You’re a wonderful shrink Skull Boy. Thanks to you this dreary old domain of mine can have a queen again.”

“Chaney,” Penny breathed, “you can’t be serious.”

“Oh I’m serious alright. Consider this your new home,” Chaney said.

The couple hugged and kissed each other some more, which was not an easy thing to do when one person has a mouth full of teeth. The sins cheered with delight as Misto rioted and squirmed under his captors.
“I must be crazy”, he cried. “This isn’t really happening!”

“That’d be sad if it wasn’t,” Iris said, warmly looking on at the new king and queen of this fiery dominion.

Ruby approached her parents, waving her dress back and forth. “Soooooo does this mean I don’t have to be a princess? And I don’t need to get married if I don’t want to?”

Chaney grimaced at Ruby’s eager smile. He scratched the underside of his chin. “I don’t know Ruby. All Spirits of Strife fade away with the world’s newest set of problems. Chaos needs some form or else…well…I don’t even know how to explain.”

“But,” Ruby said, disappointed, “I’m not good at being a Spirit of Strife. I don’t want to be one, ever! I want to go home and never see this place again.”

“You mean…leave us,” Envy remarked, terrified.

“Oh don’t leave us princess Ruby! We need you! All of us need you,” Vanity cried.

Ruby winced as Doom tried keeping the sins at bay. “I’m sorry girls, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I wanna help but I don’t know how. If only there was a little bit of Gloomsville down here, then you’d all be much happier.”

“I can’t believe you’re turning this down,” Misery said, trying to comfort Ruby. “I mean I wanna go home too but, you’re a princess down here Ruby! My cousin Morose would die to be in your shoes right now!”

“Morose?” Chaney slowly walked up to Misery and examined her facial features.  “What…is your name young lady?”

“Misery.”  

“You wouldn’t at all be part of the, uh, misery family tree would you?”

“Yep. I’m the, er, thirty fourth Misery in a row if the scrap book Mildew gave me is correct.”

Chaney gasped. No one knew what to say when he bowed before Misery. He took one of her hands in his and put another on his chest.
“It is an honor to meet a member of the Misery family tree! Your family has inspired us Spirits of Strife for centuries. Such bad luck, such pain wherever you go. Truly you are thing to behold, my dear.”

“Aw,” Misery blushed, “you’re too sweet Mr. Strife. You should see my cousins Malady and Malaise.”

Ruby didn’t even have to acknowledge Doom’s tapping to know they were thinking the same thing. “Dad! I have an idea,” she said. “What if a few years down the line, whenever Misery’s ready anyway, you give her the job of Spirit of Strife? She’s got a great attitude about, err, misfortune. Besides, if she becomes a Spirit of Strife, bad luck won’t hit her as much as it does at home.”

Chaney and Penny silented pondered the decision before whispering into each other’s ears. Then they nodded.

“We’ll talk about it. As long as it’s okay with Misery,” Penny said.

Misery stood there with her jaw hung open. “Me? Spirit of Strife and Anguish? I’d be able to rub it in Morose’s face so hard! That’d be amazing, er, as I long as I can come see my friends at Gloomsville once in awhile…”

“A Spirit of Strife can goes wherever they please,” Chaney said. Misery began dancing about in glee and making the floor crack beneath her. Chaney rubbed his finger under his chin, happy with his decision.

Ruby turned to the sins and told each of them to take a good look at her friend.
“I know she’s not as perky as me but Misery is from Gloomsville. I can’t say she’ll make the world better but she can make it less, terrifying than my dad, the surface world too! Besides, I can still advise her. I’m sure she’ll use some of my old ideas.”

“She’d make an adequate queen, I suppose,” Vanity said.

“I’M STILL ANGRY ABOUT RUBY LEAVING. SHE’D BE BETTER AS THE SPIRIT OF STRIFE. I NEED HIT SOMETHING,” Wrath said, picking poor Passion up by the horn and leading her down the stairs.

“I hate her hair,” Envy said, “it’s prettier than mine.”

Ruby laughed and partook in a long, drawn out hug with the sins. “You guys are amazing. And I know you’re all gonna love Misery.”

“I bet we will,” Greed said.

“Tell everybody else not to forget about what I said, okay?” Ruby asked.

“Affirmative, princess,” Sloth said jokingly. “I swear I’ll remember to feed the horses this time.

Misery beamed with pride as Iris and Poe admired her and Ruby’s plan. “Looks like someone just moved up one heck of a totem pole huh?” Iris said.

“Well it beats being a schadenfreude service person any day,” Misery said.

Chaney’s head spun around. “What?” he snapped. He looked down at Misto who cowered so much under Frank and Len’s weight it seemed like he was disappearing into the floor. Displaying his usual “spirit of strife rage”, Chaney picked Misto up by the neck of his coat.
“Not only did you lie to me about my daughter’s friends but you assigned one of the Misery family tree members to schadenfreude duty? That’s sick!”

“I didn’t know master,” Misto pleaded, “I was only doing my job.”

“Well you did a bad job. When I get these kids home they’re quitting the work you gave them. In the meantime, I’ll be giving you a new occupation Misto,” Chaney said. “You get to clean the lava canals.”

“But-but that will take forever!”

“Would you rather do it without fireproof shoes then?” Penny asked him slightly as the rest of the group laughed at Misto’s expense. Chaney smiled and patted her on the back for her suggestion.

“So, wait, we get to go home?” Ruby asked.

After flicking Misto down the stairs smiled and brushed the top of Ruby’s head.. “Yes. You get to go home.”

“Wahoo!” Ruby cheered and danced with Doom for a few seconds. Then she ran to the rest of her friends. “Did you hear that guys?! I get to go home!”

Poe gave a sad laugh. “Yes. It will be so much fun cleaning up the ruins of our house once we get back.”

“Ruins?” Penny asked.

“When dad came to get me the ground next to our house split open so noooooow….”

“We have nowhere to live,” Skull Boy said.

Ruby somehow spotted the blush in Chaney’s face and took him aside. She bent him down and whispered something in his ear. Chaney frowned for a second then smiled when he saw Doom sit on Ruby’s head. He pet her with the tip of his index claw.

“If I can fix something once,” he said, “I can try, try again a for a second time.”
Seventeenth chapter to my Ruby Gloom fan fiction, "You Think You Know a Gloom".
This is the best draft to be released so far but it is far from perfect. If you have any complaints about grammar, sentence/paragraph structure I am very open to critique.

Best way to end any climax is with a resolution, Misery being awesome and the return of Dr. Skull Boy.
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